Outpaced

Hello, all. It's been awhile. I've been in my new home now about 72 hours. I'm getting out of boxes, trying to find my way around, get the kids into their routines... it's really, really hard. I don't really feel like I'm ever going to catch up. Since when did life go so fast?

The best word for my emotional state is numb. I can't feel alot right now. Somewhere amidst the grief of leaving my dearest friends, the fatigue of moving plus babies, and the anticipation of a new start my feelings shut down, probably as a type of defense mechanism. It was funny, I got a pedicure in Bay City while Mom watched the kids one afternoon. The minute the massage began I burst into tears. So weird! But I can understand it. I've seen it happen before in the ICU.

Speaking of which, finding a job may be a little more challenging than I originally thought. Called lake Forest Hospital Monday (like they asked) and she nurse recruiter gave me real attitude regarding my inability to work on Sundays... now this wasn't new information to her, we had discussed it a month ago, but she was kinda nasty about it. "If you cant work Saturdays and Sundays then I can't see that we'll be able to use that kind of help." Whatever. Just God gently closing a door for me. Gotta keep calm about it.

The kids seem to be quieting for their naps. I need to close my eyes for a few minutes...