I'm the type of person who can usually muscle through a weakness. I can read, think, formulate and execute a plan, and receive good outcomes. But as a mom, one of the areas where I feel completely inadequate is as a feeder. I hate, again, hate feeding the kids. I'm mostly at fault, giving snacks at the wrong time, reading books with competing information and applying none of it... but honestly, eating is just not a big deal to me. Somewhere in my head is a principle that food is not the center of one's life, and I hope to instill that in my children. But how can you do that without also instilling poor behaviors? We run on an early shift in this house, rising between six and seven; but bedtime also occurs early, between six and seven, giving Mom and Dad a few hours to reconnect. So the children eat earlier than most, lunch at 11 and dinner at 4. I've tried for two years to have the family dinner at 5 when Dad walks in the door, but the kids were tired, hungry, and I was usually frustrated. They are still little, after all, 1, 2.5 and 4, so there are years to come when they may be able to tolerate a later supper.
After 4 years of trying to be a good feeder, here's my summary:
1. Each child will have a meal that is their best, the time when they will eat the most. (Karen, mother of 6)
2. Only put three to six bites of food on the baby's plate. Anything more than that will be used as ammunition. (Liz, mother of 3 great eaters)
3. I think the phrase "I'm not a short order cook" was invented by someone who didn't have a kid with food allergies (milk,egg, nut... thanks, Levi). When that comment comes up, I feel judged. I won't use it with others.
4. There is an inverse proportion applied to every meal that states "the more time Mom has spent fixing the food means that the children will spend even less time sitting /eating/ enjoying the meal." X=1/X... remember? That also means that drive through meals are joyfully and patiently eaten, sometimes lasting up to 30 minutes at the table.
5. If I had to choose between a good eater and a good sleeper, I'll take the good sleeper.
6. My kids eat better than some and worse than some. They can still be respectful and polite, even in their refusals to eat.
7. I would rather have my kids grow up with few memories of meal times than remembering fights over food.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
My mother's advice runs perfectly in line with this: she always reminds me not to force food issues because otherwise mealtime becomes a negative experience. :)
So, so relate to this whole post. We've got no significant food allergies, PTL, but one picky eater can set this mommy up for battles if I'm in a bear of a mood already.
I don't want to make mealtime a battleground, so I cater to preferences and some level of pickiness in order to maintain peace in the household.
After all, meals should be family times that are more fellowship and less fighting.
yes, yes. This is one of those areas where Mamas need to give out some heavily needed grace. We can get so arrogant about "the way we do things" and think it's the best and only way. Way to go, babe. Keep it comin'
Post a Comment