Morning walks

I used to look forward to my morning walks with Izak. It was a great way to blow an hour or so while waiting for his afternoon nap to roll around, I could get some fresh air, Sailor could get rid of some of her energy and keep her nails filed down. But then Libby came and has made it abundantly clear that she does not like morning walks! First she starts by grumbling in the car seat. When I put her pacifier in she sucks on it with an angry look (the scowl she has is all Matt!), her little fists clenched. So I pull a blanket over her to block out the light (and make me forget that I'm at fault for dragging this poor kid out of her nap for an overstimulating walk). Meanwhile, Izak has decided that yes, he should kick the foot rest of the stroller with great force, bouncing the whole set-up with a steady rhythm. Under the cover the grumbling increases to a howl. Then Izak eggs her on by imitating the cry, bumping the volume up a notch. Then I turn around on my route and head home, foiled, discouraged, and accompanied by the waaaaaa-mbulance of crying children. So much for my morning walks.

It's better if I just stay at home and make sure Libby gets a good nap, or four good naps, in a nice quiet, dark room. Actually, this is a cornerstone of my philosophy to encourage healthy sleep. Be home for naptime(s). Have naps happen in the familiar environment of a room and crib with minimal noise. Strive for early bedtimes with bedrock routines. Do not push for a later bedtime in hopes that the baby will sleep in later (because you will more than likely get an earlier wake-up). All of my sleep beliefs have been formed by the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc. Weissbluth. Fantastic research, right on the money as far as his findings for the various age groups. MW sites our mentality of needing to be "on the go" as a major culprit in raising sleep deprived, crabby, inattentive kids. The whole notion of "if he's tired he'll sleep" is something I avoid at all costs. In my particular situation, to push the kids to play along with my perceived need to be on the go would be selfish. I do not have to be anywhere or go anywhere that is paramount to their needs for a good nap. I am delighted to take care of well-rested babies. I am tortured when I've had to care for stressed-out, crabby babies. If I have to go somewhere then I try to schedule it during naptime and arrange for a babysitter. I know that I'm a frustration to my friends who were hoping for another playmate when I became a SAHM. I refuse to push my kids to play when I know they should be sleeping, and as MW puts it, "sleep begets sleep". The more rested a child is, the more he'll be able to rest.

I was beginning to see more of people and accomplish more daytime errands when Izak dropped his morning nap around 14 months of age. It really was fun, going and doing more. But now Liberty has reminded me that babies need to sleep (almost around the clock), and my main job for now is to protect that need ~ even if it means no more morning walks.

So amidst the daily awareness that I may grow chubby, sluggish and low-toned, I am reminded that the nature of motherhood is bittersweet sacrifice.