Must write

Must blog, must blog. Writing is the form I can use to express a lot of thoughts that hang on me all day, though finding the time to sit and write is nigh impossible. Either sleep or write, take your choice. Forget eating, I gave that up weeks ago.

I guess I'll just be newsy. Levi is a month. He's much less fussy, and has stopped screaming bloody murder during his baths. He actually looks over at his reflection in the mirror, very calm, perhaps it's just resignation. But my policy is that all men that I sleep with need to smell good.

Speaking of which - Matt and I celebrated our 11-year anniversary this weekend. It was amazing to recall the places we'd lived and the jobs we'd had. We love to talk all day about our wedding day, remembering the moments. I'm afraid that there wasn't as much pizzaz this year as we'd hoped, since I totally wiped out around 8 p.m.. Sorry, Lover! Next year, and each year will continue to be better! We will see Vermont again!!

Libby is recovering from an emergency operation on her hand almost two weeks ago. We ended up in the ER, and then need the OR for repair. Gosh, she's a spirited little thing! I love it. We met one of the most fantastic surgeons I've even known, Dr. Frank. A short, more narrow version of Mr. Rogers. He adored Lib, and she thought he was pretty cool too, being an expert peek-a-boo player and all.

Izak is growing more and more observant. Yesterday we were making a U-turn in an Applebee's parking lot and he said, "Come on everybody. Let's go inside for nuggets and colored balloons!" Not bad for a kid of few words.

There's a lot that I can't tell you in the blog. A lot of confidential issues, some things that I may be able to reflect about in time. Can I just say that this last month has been one of the most difficult times that I can recall? If we were using battle terminology - "heavy shelling" is a pretty good word picture. But I was so encouraged when I was stumbling through Isaiah and it said repeatedly, "Do not fear; I will help you." The pastoral families have prayer every other Tuesday night here at our house. We prayed that God would make us desperate for Him... now we're praying for relief! Okay, okay we're desperate already! But God promised help.. and to a mom and wife of a family under the purifying fire, help is exactly, exactly what I need right now.

Jesus, thank you for being with me. Your presence is something I sense in the deepest parts of who I am. Thank you for being my strong, right hand. Thank you for enfolding my home with your arms. Thank you for being in the future, and for your protection in moments of crisis. I am so blessed.