Today I am 33.

Happy birthday to me. I was reflecting this morning about how different my life is today as compared to what I would've guessed it would be like when I was in my 20's. I am slightly sleep deprived, not because I'm working a double shift as a doctor or a trauma flight nurse, but because I'm nutritionally linked to my breast-feeding-every-three-hours-newborn daughter. I enjoy receiving birthday presents, but when Matthew asked me this morning what I would like I did not reply,"A wonderful weekend at an inn." Instead I said, "A hot shower before you leave for work without the toddler peeking into my tub every minute or so." I am thinner than when I was in college, but not because I have that dream gym membership with the rockin' aerobic classes. I can't manage to get a decent meal in me because I'm either chasing Izzy (who hates to stay still for too long)or snuggling Libby (who hates to be alone for too long). I treated myself to a special birthday breakfast, but it wasn't a quiet time of consuming a fruit parfait and hand-made breakfast sandwich from my favorite coffee house while lounging at my favorite stream in the state park. It was 5 cinnamon Timbits, a small coffee, all picked up from a drive-thru window-- oh, and a big chunk of an old oatmeal raisin cookie that I found between the kids' car seats.

It's funny. Life is not what I would have expected, but it's all good. Really good. I feel so lead by God during this time in my life. I enjoy His presence, His strength, His wisdom. I enjoy knowing that I am pleasing Him each day I undertake the challenges of my home, my calling. Yes, somedays are hard, but it is a choice as to how I will respond. Resentment or resolve? I resolve within myself to savor this time. The bitter and the sweet.

Staying home on maternity leave without disability pay= (-) $XXX a month
Siphoning off savings to be a stay-at-home mom= (-) $XX a month
Knowing that I am in the center of God's will right here, right now = PRICELESS