House news and best intentions

Well... we have a new home awaiting us in Lake Villa, IL! Matt did an awesome job and it was such a blessing to have Rick there along side him. The two of them did a fantastic job and found us a great place to live. Big colonial, 4 br/ 2.5 bth... plenty of room to entertain, lodge, and grow. I keep telling Libby, "Soon you'll have a bedroom with a DOOR on it!" She is currently housed in the sunroom just off the kitchen in a PackNPlay. After she goes to bed all family members are confined to the living room. Lol. Don't know what I'll do if I can actually pop a bag of popcorn after 7 o'clock at night without waking the kids. NWCC, I sure hope you're ready to party!

All of the details which unfold with closing one home and selling another are staggering to a detail-oriented girl like myself, but I think one by one we're addressing the issues. I have spoken to two movers, one more to go, and we'll see who will get to move us. I'm trying to get all the doctors' appointments out of the way so nothing will be urgent upon arrival to a new town... prescriptions filled, teeth cleaned, etc. I am aware how desperately I need strength and wisdom to manage each day to the max. Then add on top of that my kiddie rodeo... yeeha!

Thought I might let a little irritation air out here on line, mostly because I'm convinced that the offenders do not read my blog. Lori C., Aud, Jennifer G, Carebear, this is NOT for you! This is not intended for any of my young mom friends with their hands full of babies. It is more about other grown-ups who should know better. So here it is. Your verbal good intentions don't necessarily translate into meaningful encounters with me. For instance, it's endlessly annoying to me when someone says, "I meant to stop by all week and see how you were... I've been meaning to call... I thought I'd come give you a hand... I've meant to drop you a card...but I was _____ (insert valid reason here)" What do you expect me to say to that?!?! The reality is your stuff is more important than stopping in to check on a friend. One of my pet peeves is when someone says, "We should [get together], [have lunch] or [come over to see the kids], or etc...," and I say, "That'd be great. I'm almost always home. Give me a call and we can make a date." And they never call. I think the intention was to imply, "Hey, I really appreciate you as a person. You're a good friend and I like you. I like the time we spend together." If that's the case then just say those very words, and I'll remember them and hold them close. But when you don't follow through, the message is that you don't value it enough. Now, I don't expect that my situation eclipses your life, but what really translates into meaning for a person like myself is action. The card while my husband was away house-hunting (TY, Donut, all the way over in Oregon!) The call on my machine that says, "I was just calling to see if you needed anything." (Aud, Laura G) The home-made yeast rolls. The e-mail (shout out to Kim D.) The hug in the foyer with the simple comment, "I have been thinking of you," or, "I miss you." That's the stuff that transcends the momentary struggle and gives me something to actually hold on to. Maybe the frustration is greater because I used to use the same words to try to communicate value, but in reality, I was accidentally setting people up for disappointment. Maybe it's because I work with the dying. Maybe it's because I'm trying to capture the drops of friendship here to take with me into a time when I will not be as well known or understood.

Gary Smalley talks about the 5 love languages that communicate love and meaning to an individual... touch, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and quality time. They're all important, but a person tends to have one or two favorite ways to receive love from others. I've always been a "gifts" person. If you want me to know that you love me, a present is a great way to express it. But as I'm getting older, quality time is emerging as a strong second.

Perhaps it's because I see time taken for friendship as the finest gift of all.